February 23, 2018
“Once you as a parent are assured the team is a safe environment, release your child to the coach and to the game. That way all successes are theirs, all failures are theirs.”
Parents it is my duty to inform you, you are the reason your kid is not winning the matches he or she should, you are the reason they are not getting the big hit when the college coach is watching, and you are the reason they are not playing in the games like they do in practice. You are sabotaging your kid’s success!
In my second book, “Don’t Be A Crazy Ass Parent”, I talk about the many stories of parents I knew and experienced personally, who was over the top with issues like play time, what position their kid was playing and the worst, upset that the kid let them down by not performing at a high enough level.
However, the way that I see parents sabotaging their kids more frequently, is done in different ways than how I described the incidents in my book.
First, parents will spend an exorbitant amount of money on equipment, whether it is tennis rackets, bats or gloves, parents create an environment where the kid believes their success or failures lies in the equipment. Plus, it can make the kid feel like the parent has no faith in them, so they cover it with 4 bats, 5 tennis rackets, and three gloves.
Second, parents hear about a new magical way of doing some skill or movement, and man they jump in with two feet even if where the kid is currently better than everyone else. They do this with no foundation to support this new thing. I call it the Tiger Woods syndrome, you are the best player in the world, but you go and change your swing, why?
Third and the most important way parents sabotage their kid’s sports opportunities and experience is by failing to support the mental growth and mindset of their kid for the current sport they are playing. When we don’t build their mindset now, we sabotage the kid’s future. When a teen learns how to let go of their fears, replace it with positive things they want, learn how to identify their dreams, set goals, create a vision or dream board, build a list of powerful affirmations. They learn how to hijack their brains and create their own story, thus building mental toughness that transcends their sport.
Fourth, you must be truthful with your kids, about their play, work habits, and attitude. Stop making excuses and know you are not protecting them when you are not being honest.
Athletics can teach life skills that they take with them to colleges like UCLA, San Diego State, and Stanford. They go on to get licensed as register nurses, become police officers with MBA’s or become lawyers. They have self-esteem and confidence that excels their relationships, they are happy, well-adjusted and have an accurate view of themselves in the world which leads to a happier life. So, they end up living the life they imagine for themselves, back when they were playing travel ball or tennis in the 8th or 9th grade.